Friday, 21 November 2014

Coping With Your Future In Laws

Hello friends, find below a tweetcast I will be doing at the ongoing twitter conference #WhenSinglesGather. You can join life by following me on my twitter handle @kemi_odutayo

Feel free to comment, retweet, reply and ask questions. Our marital destiny is secured in Jesus name!

1) I count it a great privilege 2b on this platform #WhenSinglesGather. I will like to appreciate the convener
@Grace_Festus

2) We will B discussing D topic, Coping with your future 'in laws' and I pray God will use these few tips 2prepare us

3) As a Single, U have 2let go of all negative, pre-conceived ideas about 'in laws', renew yr mind&trust God 4d best

4)Put aside those stories/Nollywood films you have heard/watched about the so called 'monsters-in-law' &evil siblings

5)Yr future in-laws r yr future spouse's family both extended & nuclear. And if U plan on sticking with yr spouse, U r stuck wit them 2

6)In our part of the world, no matter how distant the relatives are, they are still yr in laws. We thrive on relationship!

7)Coping with 'in laws' is one of the survival skills we all need 2learn&i bliv these few tips will help immensely

8)1stly, U have 2work together with yr spouse! YOU r in it 2geda! This is a topic u guys need 2discuss during yr courtship

9)Don't assume abt the roles of in laws in yr home. Don't assume U are on the same page with yr intended! Discuss it!

10)U need 2set up realistic boundaries & how 2enforce it! U both need 2negotiate based on your knowledge of your family

11)Having difficulties with your 'in laws' shouldn't pose much problem 2your home but...handling it badly definitely will

12)Recognise that they are diff people with diff ways & (family)culture especially if yours is going 2b an intra tribal marriage

13)Understand that their (family)culture isn't necessarily bad/wrong but just diff. At least, some are! Don't despise them!

14)I implore u 2let go of every stereotypes & adjust your thinking 2d reality on ground. Take it in stride!

15)I didn't believe it at 1st when my mother in law said she's not really into doing 'omugos'

16)Omugo loosely translates 2mean a period in which yr mum in law comes 2stay with U after the birth of your baby

17)Mine comes visiting expecting 2b waited upon! It was a rude awakening! She really tried her best but...

18)She advised me 2invite my mum or sister over to assist, which I did. It didn't go down well with me but I have 2adjust

19)14yrs in marriage and 3kids down the line, we are best of friends. She is a good woman! A great support! Non-meddling!

20)Don't expect what your in laws can't deliver. Deal with them according to the knowledge u av of them. Observe!

21)Yr parents have 2love&trust U but not so with your in laws! Don't compare! U have 2earn their trust & show yourself lovable

22)Respect them, B interested in them & listen 2them. U r not under compulsion 2do as they say but do acknowledge their input

23)If something bothers you in the family, don't stew over a perceived slight. It might be a misunderstanding!

24)When the going get tough, respond and don't react! Try to be civil if you can't be silent

25)Even if u av to bite your tongue, try & say something nice! If you can't bring yourself to, smile and stay silent!

26)Remember, a soft answer turns away wrath...Prov 15:1&2

27)Try and see things fro their perceptive. Even if you don't agree, act like the better & bigger person

28)Your in laws are a crucial part of your spouse's life; this makes them a crucial part of yours too

29)Try your utmost not 2put your spouse in a situation where he has 2choose between you & a relative.

30)Its never easy 2balance yr needs wit that of others but I tell U, it's in your best interest 2keep the family harmony

31)Note this - creating harmony in the family is possible and worthwhile! The reward is transgenerational!

32)Dear single, tips on 'in laws' issues are inexhaustive! But above all, trust&commit them &yr home in2 God's hands

33)Remember the scripture says, 'as much as it depends on U, live at peace with all men! Rom 12:18 Your in laws are inclusive!

34)Having done all, God will only punish all disobedience on their part if your own obedience is in place! 2 Cor 10:6 (paraphrase mine)

35)Thanks again @Grace-Festus for this platform #WhenSinglesGather. Am glad to be a part of it!

Follow me on twitter @kemi_odutayo
Feel free to drop your comments, ask your questions, retweets, mentions , post on facebook etc

Remain blessed!

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